How to Talk to Your Spouse Who Says You Work Too Much

Strong marriages and relationships require attention from both partners. This balance of attention to spouse versus earning a living or furthering your career can be difficult to find. And, once you have found a balance that works in your relationship, things change and you have to find the balance again.

Why do some people overwork? The Overworking Spouse may be under considerable stress on the job, or may have a boss that demands long hours. Or maybe there are layoffs coming up and the less productive workers are the first to go. Maybe one partner has to work long hours just to support the family. On the other hand, the overworking spouse may be strongly identifying with career advancement to the exclusion of the marriage. Of course, we should be involved in work that is worthwhile, fulfilling and financially rewarding but over focus can put the marriage at risk.

What can happen when you put your work/career first? Your spouse may be feeling emotionally disconnected from you and lonely. There may be a buildup of resentment which can lead to anger and finally bitterness-towards you. This situation often leads to unhappiness and discord for the entire family.

As a psychologist who has worked for 20 years counseling couples in my therapy practice in North St. Paul, MN, I met with Amy and Josh with just this complaint. Amy was complaining that she was overburdened because Josh worked too much and left her with the responsibilities of home, children, and her own 40-hour job. He knew she was right but he felt defensive when she tried to tell him how to manage his work schedule. He’d started complaining that when wasn’t very affectionate lately and always blamed her disinterest in their physical intimacy on fatigue. He asked to meet with me individually after Amy had had a session to talk about her “side”of the problem. He was appreciative that she was not as naggy as she had been in the past, but he still felt blamed and criticized.

When Josh and I met, we talked of the reasons that he was spending so much time at work. The usual reasons people overwork is that they are feeling under considerable stress on the job, or may have a boss that demands long hours. Or maybe there are layoffs coming up and the less productive works are the first to go. Maybe one partner has to work long hours just to support the family. On the hand, the overworking spouse may be strongly identifying with career advancement to the exclusion of the marriage.

Drs. John and Julie Gottman, in their book 10 Lessons to Transform Your Marriage, suggest the following questions:

1.What does your work mean to you?

2.What pleasure or satisfaction does work bring to you?

3.What need does working fulfill in your life?

4.Does your work related to some personal legacy you would like to contribute to the world?

In a discussion with Josh, he pointed out that he was trying to make headway in his career now, while he was still young and had the energy. He knew his wife was doing a good job parenting their two small children (3 years and 9 months) so he wanted to focus on earning good money for his family. At first, he couldn’t understand why Amy was complaining so much because he was doing all this work for her and their children. He felt it was his responsibility. He wanted to provide his children with a fund for their education.

I suggested he consider the questions listed above. He said that his work is very satisfying in that he felt very confident and capable at work. He also wanted to meet his father’s expectations who had had a successful career. His older two brothers had moved from job to job and he knew his father was disappointed that they had difficulty supporting their families.

It was important for Josh to understand the underlying reasons for his excessive hours at work. He did not have a demanding boss and he was in no threat of a layoff. He just wanted to do the right thing. He had not thought of himself as having value over and above that of a worker and wage earner. He resigned himself to have a discussion with Amy. He said he would try to listen carefully about what Amy was longing for when she complained to him. I suggested he try to imagine the experiences she wanted to have with him and not to focus on her criticisms.

When Amy and Josh came for the next couple’s session, they wanted to further discuss the overworking situation. (They no longer saw the problem as residing inside one of them but as a problem the two of them need to figure out.) Any was able to explain to him what she missed when he work so much. He came to get a sense that his contribution to their family was not solely a financial responsibility. He heard her tell him he was also loved, appreciated, and needed as a friend, confidant and co-parent. She especially enjoyed his easy humor with their children and felt he was the only one who would be able to provide that.

This was a difficult issue for this couple and it was not resolved quickly. They were able to discuss their needs and wants in a different way when they addressed the questions about the underlying reasons for their positions.

Beachfront Vs Inland Real Estate Ownership In Miami

Miami real estate is one of the fast-selling and bought after pieces of real estate in the market nowdays since it is considered by many to be one of the best places to live or vacation in.

One of the reasons as to why a lot of people would like to invest on a real estate in Miami is because of all the other things that people will be getting when they do decide to purchase a real estate property in Miami. These Miami real estate owners know that they are not only getting the property, but they also get to benefit from all the other things that goes along with the property, such as the pristine beaches and the culture in Miami.

Owning a real estate property in Miami can be a real treat, especially for people who are very much into the whole Miami culture and lifestyle. However, there are a lot of real estate property types to choose from, ranging from condos to hotels. Although there are a variety of real estate properties in Miami, two of the more ideal property types that people can purchase are the beachfront and inland real estate properties. These two property types are very different from each other, although they both offer great real estate properties for potential buyers. In order to be able to decide which one bests suits your taste, you need to know what makes each of these properties unique.

One of the things that make the two property types so different is the aesthetic aspect that these property types offer its potential investors. Of the two, the beachfront real estate properties offer the better esthetic quality since the property is situated along the coastline along the coast of Miami.

These beachfront real estate properties is made more beautiful by the fact that the beaches that made Miami so bought after and popular is the backyard of such properties. All you need to do is look out your window and you can see the beaches that draw such diverse crowds into Miami.

Inland real estate properties, however, although are beautiful in their own right, still can not match the aesthetic beauty that the beaches add to the different beachfront real estate properties. It is one thing to have a beautiful house with nice amenities in a nice neighborhood, but it is another to have white sandy beaches very close to your home.

Another thing that differentiates these two property types is the level of their appeal or popularity with the different investors and potential buyers of the real estate properties. Beachfront real estate properties are moreought after than inland real estate properties since these beachfront properties are very close to the beaches, which is the major reason for its appeal. Inland properties may be closer to other structures, but people do not wish to live or vacation in Miami because of the malls and the stores in the city. People wish to come to Miami mostly for the beaches.

Although both real estate properties can be used by its owners to earn profit, especially if they do not intend to live in Miami permanently, beachfront properties are still the more popular choice for people who want to rent out condos or houses in Miami, especially for those people who are just vacationing. Vacationers go to Miami for the beaches, and if they are able to live near one, then the better it is for them.

Whatever real estate property you may choose to buy, it is important to remember that these types of properties, especially if they are bought after in the market, may cost you a lot of money if you plan on investing on Miami real estate. However, inland real estate properties tend to be more reasonably priced, as compared with beachfront property types. The high cost of owning a beachfront property is the price that any potential buyer have to pay in exchange for all the perks that goes along with the property.

Vanessa A. Doctor

http://miamirealestateinc.com

Natural Weight Loss Supplements That Work

It's natural to want to look good and losing weight is one way to achieve that. Losing excess weight also has the added benefit that you're going to feel healthier and more confident about yourself.

If you're overweight it's important that you lose weight without putting your health at risk. This can often be the case with people who try to lose weight too quickly.

Many people use fad diets that claim to lose 15 pounds in a week. However, this often involves cutting down drastically on the amount of calories you eat and doing intestinal exercises in order to lose that amount of weight in such a short period of time.

A major problem is that these types of diets put your body under severe strain. To lose weight that quickly is unnatural and can have negative consequences for your long-term health.

Taking weight loss pills that contain chemicals can also endanger your health. These are often designed to interfere with the neural pathways that control your appetite.

As their active ingredients are chemically based on they're toxic to the body and this often causes unpleasant and even serious side effects.

If you want to lose weight and avoid these side effects it's far more sensible to consider taking natural weight loss supplements that work.

Due to the increased concern over pharmaceutical weight loss pills and their side effects more natural supplements have become available.

Some the most popular and effective weight loss supplements on the market are fat burners and carb blockers.

Fat Burners

Fat burners are natural weight loss supplements that work by raising your body's metabolism. Your metabolism is the rate or speed that your body converts fat into energy. Therefore, the higher your metabolism the more calories you burn.

The most popular fat burners on the market use capsicum pepper extract because it contains certain compounds that raise the body's metabolic rate. This has the effect of helping you burn more calories when you work out.

Fat Binders

Fat binders work differently to fat burners because they focus on the food you eat. Many fat binders contain natural fibers from certain plants.These fibers bind to the fat molecules which has the result of increasing their size. As the fibers become bulkier in size they're much harder for the body to digest and absorb. Instead, a percentage of fat molecules are passed out of the body as waste.

Technical Writing – How to Write Project Justification Documents

As part of building the overall project scope a technical author will first need to lay out the justification documentation. This document which can also be considered a “business case” lays out the fundamental reasons for implementing the project. Here’s a simple guide on creating a project justification.

State the Problem

Businesses don’t carry out projects for fun; they perform them in order to solve a specific issue or issues. You need to describe the problem clearly and accurately at the start of your document so that you can then present the solution to that problem.

For example if you intend to implement a new HRMS (Human Resource Management System) your problem may be; “The HR team currently spends nearly 80% of its time on non-productive administrative tasks, reducing the effectiveness of the function dramatically.”

State the Solution

This should be a simple statement to define your project. This enables your reader to understand what it is you’re proposing.

“We intend to implement an automated HRMS system to reduce manual administration by half.”

Supply Supporting Information

The problem and solution aren’t going to justify your project to the stakeholders and decision makers, so you need to provide the right level of information to enable them to support your recommendation.

Examples of the kind of information you should use:

  • Market Demand – Not always the strongest argument, but if you can show that all your competitors are implementing similar systems, it certainly suggests that it may be worth considering in your organisation.
  • Business Need – In this example the business need is clear, the HR team are spending the majority of their work time on non-specialist tasks and that costs money.
  • Customer Demands - what is it that your customers are screaming out for? Don’t forget to include internal customers as well as external ones.
  • Technological Progression – what’s going on in the world around you, is there are compelling case to be told in terms of the way IT and systems are developing?
  • Legal – Don’t forget the all important obligation to the law, if you can show that your project brings compliance or makes it easier to comply with those requirements you have a stronger case.

Writing a business case or project justification is an essential part of the larger project scoping process. Ideally you should write this early in the lifecycle of your project to help you obtain funding and support. You will also then be able to clearly identify the objectives of your task so that team members have a clear message to take away.